January 8, 2009
How do you know if you're just shy and can overcome it, or if you have Social Anxiety Disorder?
I've posted a question here about shyness and how to overcome it before. I don't think I have Social Anxiety Disorder, but I'm curious to see how you identify the two.
I have Social Anxiety Disorder.
It has many things in common with "shyness", and before I knew what SAD was, I felt embarrassed that I was so shy.
People who are shy might have problems opening up to others. They might have a few doubts about starting converation, and what to say. They might feel awkward meeting new people. I even have a difficult time separating the two, because I am not quite sure when my behaviour and anxiety became too problematic to be just 'shyness'.
Now, for social anxiety disorder… I can tell you quite a bit about that. As other people have mentioned, it gets in the way of functioning well in day-to-day life. Meeting new people was impossible. I was lucky that I had such an awesome friend through that time who stuck it out, understanding my problem well enough to not take my behaviour as a personal insult. Because I would refuse to see him. I would sit at the back of all my classes and stay far away from others. If someone walked over to borrow a pencil or something, my eyes would widen (as if I had "seen a ghost"), I would blush, and I would mutter some inaudible response, then correct the response becasue it "sounded stupid" then correct it again, then try to apologize for acting so strange; even once they walked away, I would be upset and unsettled for the rest of the day because of the one thing. Other days, while talking to others over the computer, I would start to feel 'paranoid'. I would take (literally) hours to write out and respond to an e-mail, because I was afraid of it sounding (once again), stupid. Once I sent it, I would be extremely nervous and anxious, waiting for a reply. Shaking…sweating…probably blushing, in my own home. I often felt sick. I also suffered from panic attacks. Most were mild, but others would result in me locking myself into a room, covering windows with dark bedsheets, and lying on the bed tossing and turning, trying to block out thoughts. School was a funny thing.. oh, I hated school, just because of this. You know it is getting in the way, and it is a good indication that it might be SAD, when you start to avoid doing the things you do normally…such as going to school. I would try to stay home as many days as possible, and when I did attend class, I would sit at the back or side, talk to no one, and walk through the halls, staying right next to the wall, and walking awkwardly because I was so self-aware. I knew that no one else really cared or was paying attention, but it made me nervous anyway.
I hated answering the phone, calling others, e-mailing others…meeting others. If my closest friend convinced me to go and do something with him to get used to being social again, I would likely cancel last minute, or not show up. I was almost afraid of everyone judging me…and the idea of this friend judging me was absurd. I knew what has happening, but I still had all this anxiety. There was a point where I was afraid to walk along my street, or use public transit. I couldn't buy things in stores, wave to neighbours…it was far too stressful. VERY often, with any thought of social interaction, I would feel nauseaous or physically sick.
Not everyone with SAD has panic attacks, though. I had a friend who developed an eating disorder.
Sorry for writing all this additional info. As I said, I have difficulty explaining 'shyness', so my description for that is pretty pathetic. But I hope the second part can help you.
Everyone has social anxiety. Just don't let it get out of control and start ruling your life. I understand why you would want to compare the two. And good for you, for wanting to overcome whatever it is that is holding you back. I wish you the very best of luck.
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